Are You Lonely or Just Alone?
Dealing with loneliness can be a struggle and that feeling can be one of the worst ever. You don’t just feel sad; you feel lost and misunderstood. It can lead to a worsening self-image and/or states of depression that can take a toll on your whole life. Being lonely is not fun, and I believe people experience it more often than not.
That said, there’s a stark difference between being lonely and being alone. Being lonely is a state of isolation—it’s a feeling, an emotional and mental thing.
To be alone, however, implies that no one is around you. It’s a physical thing, the absence of others rather than the feelings that come with it.
We tend to confuse the two, though they can and do overlap. You can experience being alone without feeling lonely. Conversely, you can be lonely without being alone. The latter is the state most of us find ourselves in.
You can be surrounded by many and still feel relentless loneliness. Luckily, you don’t have to continue down this path. Dealing with loneliness starts with coming to terms with your loneliness and understanding why you may be feeling this way.
The Root of Your Loneliness
There could be a few reasons for this, but I think a good general answer is feeling misunderstood and disconnected. You could be part of a community—a large one at that—and still feel lonely. You may feel unheard and different from others as if something is separating you from them. While that could be the case, more often than not, it’s all in your head. It can be a struggle to let go of this mindset, but once you realize you’re too deep in your thoughts, it becomes easier to dissolve.
Maybe you’ve struggled with maintaining or building relationships. Perhaps it’s because, like me, you’re an introvert. Or maybe you’ve just gotten out of a relationship, left those who didn’t serve you, or simply moved away from your hometown.
Whatever the reason for your loneliness, do not take it out on yourself. Don’t let this solitude swallow you whole—which is easier said than done, trust me, I know. Make even the smallest attempt to pull yourself out of that state of despair. It can be a difficult process, which is why you should use the following tips for dealing with loneliness.
How to Deal with Loneliness
1. Be Okay with Solitude
Find peace and comfort in your own company. After all, you only have yourself at the end of the day. This is something I taught myself over time, and I genuinely enjoy just being alone. Build a relationship with yourself and remind yourself that being/feeling lonely isn’t the worst thing. It’s only as bad as you make it, so make it not so bad.
2. Be Kind to Yourself
It takes nothing to be kind to others, so apply that to yourself. Build yourself up rather than beating yourself down. Give yourself compliments, speak positive words of affirmation over yourself, and treat yourself. Give yourself the grace and tender loving care you deserve. Self-love can do a lot when dealing with loneliness.
3. Implement Self-Care
In these times of loneliness, it’s important to take care of yourself. I like to start my mornings with skincare and taking supplements. I’ve even implemented forms of exercise. Anything that ensures you spend just a bit more time looking after yourself is a great place to start.
4. Work on Self-Improvement
I’m a self-improvement junkie, and I consider myself my project. I’m always up for ways of self-improvement because I know my potential is endless. Take this loneliness as a chance to focus solely on yourself and your goals. There’s no better time than the present to do so.
5. Practice Expression
Journaling is a good example of this. I know everyone recommends it, but it’s not always properly effective. If you’re not keen on journaling, take a moment to do something creative. I like to paint, write, and even dance. Whatever your preference, do it to pour out your feelings. Don’t confine them inside of yourself, where they’ll undoubtedly worsen. Emotional repression is not good!
6. Take Up a Hobby
This piggybacks off of practicing expression. Consider building up a skill or taking up simpler activities. Do anything that’ll keep you busy and learning rather than sad and stagnant. As I mentioned, I’ve taken up daily walks, and it has greatly improved my mental health. My physical health is even improving, which can be a great driving force for some.
7. Limit Your Screen Time
Ironically, you’re reading this on a device, but as fun as the internet is, it can do more harm than good. I’m not saying you should forbid yourself from scrolling through Instagram or TikTok, but be mindful of how much time you put into it. That time spent doomscrolling can be better used towards something much more productive.
8. Work on Your Current Relationships
Put more effort into your current relationships, familial or not. Reach out to some old friends or call up your grandmother. Trust me, they’ll appreciate it, and you will too. This will help you feel less lonely, even for a moment. A little goes a long way.
9. Start Building New Connections
I’m not a social butterfly, so I completely understand being apprehensive about this idea. But if you’re able to, put yourself out there. Talk to your coworkers or take yourself to social gatherings where you can mingle. If you don’t have the means of doing so, explore friend-making or even dating apps. Everyone is online nowadays, so there’s bound to be at least one individual you connect with.
10. Seek Professional Help
Despite stigmas around therapy, it’s not the worst thing to look into. Reach out to local therapists, or even take the online route. Self-soothing can certainly be helpful—speaking from personal experience—but it doesn’t hurt to get extra help from a professional. Some things you simply can’t take on alone, and that’s completely fine. Do it for yourself and with a healthy, open-minded, and patient approach.
You’re Not Alone
At the end of the day, know that you’re not alone. Nearly 1 in every 4 adults deal with loneliness, so these feelings are not unheard of. We’ve been going through a loneliness epidemic in recent years. While not ideal, there’s that guarantee of community and reliability.
On top of that, remind yourself that things will get better. Those feelings of dread are something I know all too well, but I promise you, the grass is greener on the other side. Please take care of yourself and consider implementing some of my tips.
Do not give up on yourself. Mental and emotional health is not something to be taken lightly. Wallowing is comfortable and sadistically pleasurable, but it’s not good for you in the long run. Take it from me, someone who pulled herself out of the worst state she’s ever been in and is consistently feeling better every day. You too can make such progress, and I know you will.
This Is a Safe Space
I hope you took something from this blog post. Writing this was pretty insightful for me, and I hope there’s value in it for you. As always, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments so we can connect. Maybe even share how you’ve been dealing with loneliness or your own tips for overcoming such feelings. Commenting can be done completely anonymously, so you won’t be put on blast. kaylasblogspot.com is a safe space.
Thank you again for making it to the end of this post. Your reads, views, and shares are all greatly appreciated. Until next time, bye-bye!
