I Got No H*es
I’m young, only 18; I’ll be 19 next month, and I’ve never been in a relationship. Like, ever. Not even anything remotely close. Unless you count that “boyfriend” from elementary school and a mutual crush from middle school that went absolutely nowhere. But honestly, that just feels a little sad in hindsight.
Society’s Standards and Expectations
Within Generation Z, there seems to be a bigger rush to get into a relationship, stemming from a fear of falling behind. This can be easily blamed on social media and society’s overall standards and expectations. Even at just 18, I sometimes feel as if I’m way behind my peers. But in reality, I’m just living.
It’s your classic case of FOMO–you fear you’re missing out on something, and maybe you are. Maybe I am, but since I’ve never experienced it, I have no clue if I’m missing out on anything at all.
I’ll preface this before I continue my rant: This post isn’t made to give you advice. I’m writing this to connect with those who’ve had similar experiences. I want to give my fellow romantically challenged individuals a space to feel seen.
The High School Romance I Didn’t Have
Throughout high school, I never really sought a romantic connection or put myself out there. With that being said, I still desired it–HEAVILY. I had crushes time and time again but never acted on them, mainly because I was too insecure to believe I deserved reciprocation or that it would ever happen. It’s not like the guys I had crushes on were hot sh*t; some may say they looked like sh*t, if anything. And I never really got to know any of them on a personal level. I was just a victim of putting people on insanely high pedestals.
To an extent, I would even pretend I had no interest in a romantic connection. This even led family members to question my sexuality, which is funny on its own.
The girls in my high school friend group rarely expressed interest in relationships, outside of the two hopeless romantics and, well, me. So in general, it wasn’t a big topic. But deep down, I too wanted that high school romance. Honestly, anything romantic would’ve sufficed, but that wasn’t my experience. And months later, even after graduating, it still isn’t. It’s a tough truth I’m still psychoanalyzing.
Those Thoughts of Self-Doubt
At some point, you start questioning yourself. Why haven’t I been in a relationship? Am I unlovable? What’s wrong with me? Trust me, I’ve been there, and they’re all relatable questions, even though they come from a poor place.
When all your peers have had their first kiss, held hands, had sex, or even just been in a talking stage, it’s easy to feel left behind. And by societal standards, you are behind. That’s why it’s important to strip away the weight of those expectations and try to find peace by simply letting go.
Letting Go
I think I have done well in the “letting go” department; it’s one of my superpowers. I just remind myself it’s not that serious, and at the end of the day, no one cares. Like, no one. So take this as my tiny bit of advice in this post: no one cares. In fact, you care too much, and that probably applies to more things than you’d like to admit.
That’s all I got in me for the day. Thanks for tuning in to my TED Talk.
Stellarspark7
